Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Proposition 8 & Potty Training

How, you may be asking yourself, are Prop 8 and potty training related? Well, in 3 ways as far as I can see.
1. They've both been on our minds heavily over the past few weeks.
2. As with potty training, some people need a better understanding of what they are getting into before voting for Prop 8. We'd seen the signs that Norah was ready to be training for months, but I was hesitant because I needed to know what I was doing, plus I wasn't sure I wanted to give up the flexibility that diapers allow (although I was TOTALLY wrong on that one. No diapers is AWESOME!).
3. Due to his Hawaiian raised parents Jason grew up calling pee "sheshe." If Prop 8 does not pass, sheshe can get married. (OK- it's a strech but Jason came up with that one.) Really, they are just two things I've been wanting to post about, so why not do it together?

So, for you out-of-staters, or those Californians who don't get out much (although I can't imagine at this point how you couldn't have been bombarded with it by now), Prop 8 is a proposition to make an amendment to the California constitution that reads "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California." In 2000 California voters passed Prop 22 by an overwhelming 61% (considered a landslide for an election) which defined marriage in California as between a man and a woman. Earlier this year in a 4-3 vote the California Supreme Court (4 judges!) overturned what 61% of the population had voted for and legalized same-sex marriage. As you can imagine, or as you have witnessed, this has been a heated debate all the way through. It probably comes as no surprise that the Browns are a Yes vote on Prop 8 (the scroll to the right of the blog is a dead giveaway), but in case you wanted to know why or there are any unsure votes out there, we'll share.....

First off, watch this video. We've receive MANY links to articles, videos, blogs, etc. all focusing on Prop 8 over the past few months, but this was the best. It it is clear, accurate and straight forward. It is the best representation of why we are voting Yes.

The video sums up our feelings very well. Here are a couple other thoughts if you're interested:

Prop 8 restores the people's decision and does not take away any rights: It seeks to restore how marriage was defined in California by 62% of the voters after being overturned by 4 judges. It does not take away any rights. In California, domestic partnerships and civil unions hold the same rights as married spouses.

Prop 8 encourages having a father and a mother: By calling same-sex unions "marriage" aren't we just saying that a mother and a father aren't really necessary? That it's perfectly okay to substitute one for another of the same sex, that we shouldn't even notice the difference, that it's fine to do without one? Research clearly shows that children develop best and gain different things from a father and a mother. It seems to me that any single mom, despite whatever situation brought her to be a single mommy, would still wish that in the perfect world things could have been different. That ideally, her child would have a mother AND a father who would love each other and their children. Of course we do not live in that perfect world, and things often don't end up how we planned or hoped they would. However, whatever we legalize we encourage and therefore get more of. "One can believe in same sex-marriage. One can believe that every child deserves a father and a mother. One cannot believe both." (David Blankenhorn, Institute for American Values)
Of course there are plenty of heterosexual people who have contributed to the breakdown of the family. However, just because irresponsible parents exist doesn't mean that we should change the definition of what is best for the child. Allowing marriage to only be defined by the traditional family unit places it clearly as the best case scenario for children to grow in. We can of course all teach our children individually what we think is best. However, society as a whole is impacted when you start teaching it in schools as equal (which is already happening), and when religions have to recognize it as the same as well.
Check out this link to a very interesting opinion piece by a liberal Democrat on why he's voting Yes on 8. His idea of the family and marriage is very interesting. Read it!

Prop 8 is not about civil rights: I am for giving same-sex couples the same rights that the word marriage provides to spouses, which they already hold in California through civil unions or domestic partnerships. However, is the word "marriage" really a RIGHT? Then how must the polygamists feel? They must feel discriminated against as well then I would assume. Should we recognize their unions as legal "marriage" then as well then, if it is truly a right? Should it be a right then for any people who love each other to be married?

Prop 8 is not meant to be hateful: I understand that it is a sensitive subject. We are not always going to agree, especially on the issue of same-sex marriage, and it is understandable that some people may find our position on traditional families offensive to their way of life. However, we live in America and I believe that we all have freedom of speech. For those who preach tolerance and claim that we have none, it is ironic that some of the opponents to Prop 8 have been anything but tolerant of our side. Everyone I know has had their yard sign stolen at least once, if not twice or three times or more. I continue to hear claims that the Yes on Prop 8 voters are discriminatory and full of hate. I can 100% honestly say that I do not have any hate in my heart for people who live this way. I do have a problem with continually being called a bigot or hateful. I do not wish for them to lose any rights, and they will not even if Prop 8 passes. I just don't believe that a same-sex union and a traditional marriage are the same thing. I think they are fundamentally different and accomplish different things and therefore should be called different names. I'm not sure how that makes me hateful. I believe we can still have love and respect for each other while standing up for our standards and beliefs.

Mormon Involvement: There has been significant media coverage commenting on the heavy involvement of Mormons in support of Prop 8. First off, it should be clear that all donations and volunteering is by choice, and that the church itself has not given even a penny to the campaign. For any of you who know us well or are familiar with our church, it should not come as a surprise that we are so dedicated in our support of Prop 8. We believe that the family is a sacred, God instituted unit where we learn and grow and become our best. Any action that lessens the importance and respect for the traditional family unit we are against. Many other churches, groups, and individuals are supporting Prop 8 as well because they too recognize it's vital importance.

It is clear and completely understandable that those who chose to live in a same sex marriage have feelings, have rights, and have their agency to chose their own path. But legalizing same sex marriage is teaching our children that it is the same. That there is no difference between a father and a mother. That they are interchangeable and therefore unimportant. And that is fundamentally not true. This issue is not about discrimination, or tolerance, or even homosexuality--it is simply about preserving the family as the fundamental unit of society and recognizing that it is the goal post for all of us to shot for.

I know this post is drastically different from my usual posts that are cluttered with a bunch of pictures of our little family. For any of you who are unsure or unclear on what some of the issues are we wanted to share some of our thoughts. Thanks for listening! If you'd like more information you can visit If you don't agree, we still love and respect you and hope you will do the same for us. If you agree, make sure to vote Yes on Prop 8 next Tuesday!

(Norah watching a show during her potty day. She's a PRO at the potty now! Thanks to Grandma Mary and her one-day training method she caught on right away with hardly an accident. We all had a fun "potty party" at my moms house which thankfully has hard wood floors, and she hasn't looked back since. It's been a fun couple of weeks with her big girl panties!)


Karisa said...

I must know this magic one day potty training lesson! Cute post.

lindsey said...

great job norah! and cute bunners!

p.s. ditto on the whole prop 8 thing. you summed it up very eloquently!

Whitney said...

I've been wanting to write a post like this, but felt overwhelmed by where to start and how to explain my position. Your explanation was exactly what I would say. Bravo.

Harmony said...

Although I was only able to skim this entry, it comes as no surprise that you take the words and thoughts right our of my mouth and brain! ONly you say it better than I could. You know we'd have an awesome conversation about this is we could! YOu really do well at explaining your thoughts. Yeah, civil rights is not the issue and there is no hate involved. seriously, you nail it.